Jealousy can be pure poison. As you take control of your life and choices you will probably discover that not everyone is thrilled for you. It seems to be a systematic process that I have witnessed over and over again with many of my fitness friends.
When you share your ambition and goals almost everyone will cheer and offer their encouragement. Everyone is on board, especially if you have related health issues. Their support seems to carry on for quite some time. They may be thinking, “ok, how many times have I heard this”. Ultimately, people don’t like change and it makes them uncomfortable.
Jealousy can come from anyone, your spouse, your partner, friends and family. As you progress and start to show real progress things get interesting. Getting fit becomes more difficult, you have to work harder, you have to make additional sacrifices. Sometimes these changes interfere with your social life or intimate relationships.
As the people in your life feel the effects and modifications they might start to give you some push back, sabotage is not uncommon either. “Oh you can have one piece of cake, it won’t hurt you”. We all make choices, if you choose to eat a piece of candy and that is your treat, that is your prerogative! The way you ultimately succeed is to make the right choice 99% of the time. Often, your treat choices will not coincide with the timing that is preferred by the food pushers.
Now you are well on your way and showing it! You start to get compliments and people are really noticing the changes in your body, you are more confident. Once you truly believe that you will succeed and are no longer white knuckling it, you gain a whole new momentum. You are growing.
It has become very clear to those around you at this point, this is not something fleeting and that “you have changed”. Now they are uncomfortable, you see it makes them look at themselves and their own lives. They wonder, “how does she/he do it?” They are no longer supportive, they have become resentful and possibly even jealous.
Give these individuals time to come around, many of them will. Relationships change and grow with time, as do we. Everyone needs a chance to “flex” and find a new way to navigate the “new” relationship, eventually they will discover you again. Some of them won’t and it is unfortunate. The good news is, you will meet many like minded people along the way who will lift you up so high, you won’t believe it!
Enjoy your journey and don’t be afraid to cut loose the dead weight, sometimes it’s absolutely necessary.
Lisa Jones Fitmark