One of the pieces of artwork I created for my daughter’s room is a beautiful quote from Christopher Robin. “Promise me you will always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
I want her to always know how amazing she is. I don’t want her to ever think that she’s not smart enough or strong enough. I don’t want her to be afraid of trying her best. She can do anything she puts her mind to.
However, it took a trip to the gym for me to realize that I wasn’t living these words. Now, you would think that after 11.5 months of seeing this on her wall many times per day (and night) that maybe I would take this advice to heart.
I was at the gym, and the workout was a complex of 1 power clean, 3 front squats and 1 push jerk. We had to do as many complexes as possible in 20 minutes. I saw the weight and thought “Whoa, that’s heavy…I don’t think I can do any of these weights.“ For women, the prescribed weights were 123, 113 or 93 lbs. Of course with crossfit, you don’t have to follow the weights on the board. They are guidelines, but you can always do more or less or something in between. Sometimes I think I use this to my (dis)advantage.
“My overhead lifts are my weakness. No one else has done over 80lbs. If you fail the push jerk, you have to start the complex over.” The negative talk kept coming and coming. I was forgetting the fact that my push press max was 113 lbs. So, my push jerk is probably a max of at least 123lbs.
We started warming up and I worked up to 88lbs. My coach said “Let me see you do a set,” and so I did. After watching me complete a set, she said “Put 93 or 98 on that bar. You’re stronger than you think.”
And right then, it clicked.
For so long, I have doubted myself and my abilities, especially since coming back to the gym post-baby. I guess it took working out with a new coach who is less familiar with my previous abilities to point that out to me. She doesn’t see me as the girl who had a baby last year. She sees my performance and pushes me to take it up a notch. Before she became my coach, I’ve been just kind of coasting. Doing whatever I thought I could, but never really pushing the envelope. I didn’t realize it either. I am so much stronger than I seem.
I did that workout at 93lbs. One round every minute was my goal. I reached it. And you know what? I could have done more.
If I want my daughter to live by these words, then it’s time that I start doing it myself.
Dear Envelope: prepare to be pushed.
Fitmark Ambassador 2013